The late Janet Ciru Akolo. This was one of the photos to be used on her music album.
A day like yesterday afternoon I was in town with James Ouma (a trainee) talking about online business till I got that chilling phone call. On the other end of the call, Janet Ciru Akolo said, “Honey, come quickly. I have to go to hospital now, it’s an emergency.”
A day before Janet was singing at Intercontinental Hotel with Kayamba Africa. 2 days before that, we were in a party with some colleagues from our mental health support group. 3 days before that, she performed at Carnivore with Kayamba again. A week before we were dancing in church on a Valentine’s luncheon. No one ever thought the events below would ever take place.
The emergency
After the call, I quickly took a 58 mat and rushed to Buru, time seemed to lag behind. I found Janet in bed and in so much pain – crushing pain on her chest, severe weakness, breathing issues and other symptoms that were similar to her mental health condition. I had never seen anything like this before. I was so scared but tried to be strong for her and kept praying and encouraging her.
I called her doctor and he told me that it may be severe anxiety. He told me to rush her immediately to hospital for admission.
Unlike other times when Janet was admitted, our daughter cried heavily when hugging her goodbye. Our son was also very sad. This was the last time they would see her alive.
Together with her brothers, we rushed her to hospital where she was admitted on a day like today, midnight.
“I love you,” she said, holding my hand as I said goodbye. Her voice was so weak.
“I love you too sweetheart,” I said. She smiled. And that was the last time I was to see her alive.
After successful admission, I dropped her brothers and went home. I just couldn’t sleep all night. Janet called in the morning and asked me to go to hospital with sodas and some of her stuff. I told her I had not slept a wink so I’d rest a bit and go. I only managed to catch some little sleep from around 7am till midday.
Janet Ciru Akolo’s Death
In the afternoon, we went with Janet’s mum and brother to see her. While on the way, the hospital receptionist kept calling and asking where we were, which seemed really strange. She had been admitted a few times before but hardly would the hospital call me to ask how far I was.
Finally, after a crazy traffic jam, we made it to the hospital. Instead of being taken to her room, we were taken to some distant office, then some senior members of the hospital came to talk to us. I thought a major medical procedure was needed, and probably that was why we were being called aside.
One of the nurses broke the news, “She had a serious attack and couldn’t breathe. We put her on oxygen and quickly called an ambulance but it was too late. Unfortunately, she has gone to sleep.”
“Sleep! SLEEP??? SLEEEEEEEEEEEP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!?”, I asked myself, “Oh, no, oh my God she’s gone. Why? WHY???? NOOOOH! No. Oh no no no no! Walter you’re dreaming. She can’t be gone. Aki this life seriously! Not her!”
Later on, an autopsy established that her cause of death was cardiopulmonary failure due to massive pulmonary thromboembolism – in short, she had massive clots in her lungs, therefore her heart-lung system failed.
The pain
After crying and crying and crying, we were taken to the room where she lay, lifeless. I tell you, that is the worst scene on the planet. Seeing someone you love so much lying dead in front of you. My mind took a mental image of this. It keeps flashing on my mind once in a while, making me hate death even more.
Hurt! Anger! Pain! Trauma! Depression! Explosion! Tsunami! Torture! SHOCK! CHILLING! All these words just couldn’t fit what I felt in my heart. Absolutely no words. Ghafla Kenya called it the saddest story on the internet.
Memories flashed before me in micro-seconds. Meeting in high school. Playing. Laughing. Dancing. Dating. Marriage. Baptism. 2 kids. Love. Hope. Online business. Mental health advocacy. Her music. In fact she had just finished producing her music album. One of my favorite songs by Janet is “More than my illness“.
She was awesome, and she was just 29 years old. I was 29 too. So young. Honestly, I just wanted to die also. I feel like God has literally held my hand and kept me alive.
She was beautiful inside and out. She loved me and our kids so much. People loved her wisdom, she literally could give advice about almost anything. Music was her passion – which she imparted to our daughter who now sings like a little angel. She lived with Major Depressive Disorder and Paroxysmal Anxiety Disorder and helped so many to learn how to cope with mental health conditions. She was mostly bright, bubbly and fired up. She even inspired me to start this blog!
I have never cried so much. I remember calling her name many times in bed, hoping to get an answer on the pillow next to mine. I dreamt of her many times. Many times I wanted to die but I just thought of these beautiful kids and all those who depend on me. We had often spoken about a long life in sickness and in health. Ouch! This was more than pain. I don’t even know what I’d call it.
Life after life
Through lots of help from friends and family, we’re here today! We all miss her. God blessed us dearly by giving her to us. We believe she would want us to be happy so we do our best to enjoy every single moment.
We are so grateful to all our friends and family for their support through this ordeal. I have literally seen the love of the Lord. May God bless you all abundantly for your assistance in every way. Take good care of each other and strive to do good always. You never know the day or the hour.
My family and I hug tight when we meet. We play hard. We pray daily. We love each other with all our hearts and are always there for each other. Financially, healthwise and otherwise, we’ve had some of the toughest times after Janet died but we do our best not to let anything steal our joy. We have created many new, happy memories. As a father I strive to be there for my family more than ever before. I love them to bits.
There is life after life. If you live well, you go to heaven. We believe that right now Janet Ciru Akolo is in heaven singing with the angels. Let’s strive to live well so that we can make it to heaven and be with the saints. We loved her, but God loved her more.
Pole sana Walter imagine I never knew about this. I only stumbled upon this heading and I had to click.
I’m a practicing christian too, a Catholic for that matter, and I love the fact that you mentioned spiritual matters here.
Pole once again.
Thank you so much Monicah. God bless you.
Walter you are indeed a strong man… God will always be with you. Your story is very touching. I also suffer from the same condition and am still pressing on hoping that one day I will be set free from this.
Hi Mercy,
It’s only God. You can’t be strong enough for some of these challenges. I appreciate your kind words. Sorry for what you’re going through. I hope you’re getting as much help as possible. All the very best.
Hello Walter
I am so sorry for your loss,I know the pain .
I also lost my baby boy early this year ,he had bronchopulmonary dislapsia….death is cruel.
My business went down,I was dead broke and depression kicked in, friends ran away, everything I touched crushed I wished death
God is good,Jesus held my hand and I survived,I started a business on July and it’s doing marvelous..isn’t God merciful..HE restores and like job in the Bible,May LORD restore u double.
May God comfort you,rip dear ones.
Hi Munanie,
Thanks for your kindness.
So sorry for what you went through as well. Never easy dealing with some of these conditions. And those losses can be unbearable.
Surely God is good. He’s the only one who can safely take someone through this. Amen to your blessing Munanie. May God restore you multiple times as well.
May God strengthen and comfort you. May all you do prosper.
Good Lord, this is true? I am so sorry.
A friend, Mercy, sent me your messages and website. I am not a young Kenyan but age is a number. That is what I believe. Uhuru Kenyatta is said to be young, I am younger than Uhuru Kenyatta. I am Ruto’s age. He is also said to be a young man. So am sir, so am I.
Having put this age thing out of the way, I must say I do feel your loss. I lost my husband some (almost) five years ago. 31st March. He developed High blood pressure. He was an architect. An intelligent and creative man. He taught me graphics and although I was then a banker and later graduated to PR/Communications/Marketing specialist, I must say, he encouraged and trained me. I work hard because I am taking care of his kids who are currently in university. I wrote for a local daily but the contract ended. I now do PR for a higher institution of learning. The pay is not enough. He was unwell for many years before his death, so I was a single mum for a long time.
I think I am a strong woman, I rely on Jesus Christ for everything. He gives me strength. Besides, I live one day at a time so that I don’t get depressed and frustrated. I have been there man. I have been there.
When I told Mercy that I am stuck, she believes enough in me to encourage me to contact you. I am looking for a writing job. I don’t really know how blogs pay. I need to know. I have no money to pay anyone, not even you, but please tell me if this can work. I am willing to struggle.
I am a practicing Christian. I went back to school and I am a speaker. Since one must research on topics to be able to speak, I am doing this. I currently also write for some Christians in Jerusalem, but money is not flowing in yet because it is something I only started recently. I wish this was a more private message, but I am writing this with openness and I am a suspicious person so you see, I don’t trust the internet.
Please send me a private email and let us talk from there. I am glad my friend Mercy believes in me enough to encourage me for this venture.
So sorry for your loss. At first I thought it was a beautifully written fiction till I read the reviews and the comments. Pole sana. Take care of the babies, they will be your strength. You will be surprised. God will surprise you as He has surprised me many times.
I shall be waiting for your email
Regards
Jennifer
Hi Jennifer,
Thanks for your words of encouragement. I really appreciate.
So so sorry for the loss of your husband. Indeed I can see that you’re a very strong woman. Keep that faith and trust in the Lord. He will never let you down.
Your writing is amazing. You can do very well online.
I understand that you’re unable to pay anyone, therefore you can feel free to start with my free Writers’ Starter Pack here https://freelancerkenya.com/pack
I have sent you the private email you requested.
Once again, thanks for your encouragement. Let’s all do our best for our families.
Stay blessed,
Walter
Pole sana Akolo. I have heard about this name sometime before but I did not know you. I am completely out of words though what I can say is everything happens for a reason and we should not query God;s actins
Thanks Samwel.
Pole Walter. Those two words seem so small and in no way encompass how I feel after reading your post. May God keep you and yours as you continue life after life, May the fabric of your family shrink just a little bit, drawing you closer, May the warmth and brightness of your love rise gloriously, as a newly born sun. May your stride each day, in God’s magnificent provision, ever comforted, forever secure in the knowledge that the lovely Janet Ciru Akolo, your darling, and the mother of your lineage, is but a heartbeat away, on the other side of the curtain of this stage we call life.
My heartfelt, belated condolences.
Thanks a lot Angela. I really appreciate your kindest of words. May God bless you too, always.
WALTER,
I HAVE NO WORDS, CAN I MEET YOU PERSONALLY? I LIVE IN INNERCORE
Hi Kennedy,
Thanks for your email.
It’s not possible for us to meet right now but we can arrange that in future.
Am so saddened to know about death of your wife, do take heart God has His own plans
Thanks a lot John.
Hi Walter,im so sorry for the loss of your wife im praying the Almighty God to give you the grace to heal He says in his word is grace is sufficient he is the only one who can heal you in Jesus might name..Let God carry you and the kids on his wings and cover you with his shadow.Let the Holy-spirit strengthen comfort and guide you.I suffered this pulmonary Embolism in 2009 but my survival was just a miracle from GOD .The story is a long one but what surprises me that many women are dying out of this condition what do you thing we can do to help others Thanks
Hi Eunice. I really appreciate your condolence message. We’re much stronger now. God is awesome. He takes us through the valley of the shadow of death. Sorry for what you went through. The best thing we can do is pray and strive to live healthy lifestyles.
A group sounds good; that being said, I think the best thing for me for now would be to provide advice in an open forum such as your blog. I’d also be happy to write up an article on the condition as well as how to manage it.
Yeah, a group is great. It’s very active and we’ve been able to save many from suicide by God’s grace.
My blog is about online business. The reason I put this here is because it was a very significant incident that happened to me. Also quite a number of my FreelancerKenya fans supported me, contributed and even came to visit me at that time. Never easy losing someone you love.
However, a guest post on mental health here would seem misplaced here.
You’re one of the best writers I know. You can start a blog on mental health and advise people on this. It will really inform many and help kill stigma. I posted the herbs and supplements list on the group and guys really learnt and appreciated. Therefore there is a lot of thirst of knowledge in that field.
I hope you’ll consider taking that step and starting a blog on this.
I am sorry for your loss, Walter. I hope you’re getting better with time. I have a question. Was she on an antipsychotic at the time of her passing?
Hi Musa. I appreciate your kindness. She was on medication for depression and anxiety. She passed in a mental health institution.
The reason why I am asking about this medication class is that it has been unfortunately shown to raise the risk of developing pulmonary embolisms (antipsychotic/antianxiety medication).
I have the same condition, and I treat it using natural supplements and herbs. Been through more than 100 natural supplements, and I read on the condition for at least 3 hours a day. I’ve been doing this since 2014.
It is under control. It took a long time to find something that works.
Hi Musa,
I am glad your condition is now under control through the use of natural supplements.
I must also commend the way you’re in charge over it, reading about it daily and implementing the great tips.
What specific supplements and herbs do you use?
It was a very long road. I have always been the kind of person to think independently. My father is a trained surgeon, and it would have been so easy for me to go to him for a psychiatrist referral, but on some level, I felt that I could handle this on my own by doing a lot of reading and trying things my way.
I came to know about my condition in 2014 after reading this article and taking the questionnaire – (google ‘boosting your happy brain chemistry health matrix’ as I was told I have too many URL’s in my post) I did not know I was depressed for the longest time; in fact, I had been clinically depressed for 13 years before finding this article! It runs in the family, but I thought that my disposition was my personality. Nobody told me, and I had to find it out on my own. I think a lot of African families are ignorant and hide things due to lack of transparency (and we wonder why there is so much corruption in our and similar countries!). My cousin at that time was being treated for the same, so when I saw this article, everything added up. It was kind of winning the Olympics 🙂
The article mentioned a book called The Mood Cure as one of the references the author used. I headed over to the book’s site and took yet another questionnaire – (just google: ‘take the mood type questionnaire’ and you will find it) and I was finally able to put a finger on what this was, what chemicals I was deficient in, and what I needed to do.
I read The Mood Cure and then went out and bought the supplements the author had recommended. In the past, I had been able to cure serious illnesses such as bacterial and viral infections with natural herbs and compounds, and that is why I gravitated towards something that wasn’t made in a lab (Julia Ross mentioned naturally sourced amino acids in her book as well as a plethora of herbs).
In April of 2014, I began a trial and error journey of trying to fix my brain. I achieved modest success, and tried so many things that I lost count (I think I have tried over 100 supplements to date). I noticed that the natural ones had no side-effects, and tended to be more effective. In addition, I noticed that a lot of my friends had these mood disorders but were ignorant about the whole thing. From social anxiety, to bipolar to sociopathy and more, these conditions are common in Kenya; we are not special, and due to the stressful lives that we lead, it is only natural that we would be affected (even more so than populations in the Western world).
My cousin was being treated by a psychiatrist, and I saw how she suffered. She would pass out on account of the medication in the streets, have seizures and go to very dark places. She would receive changes in medication and underwent shock therapy which wiped parts of her memory permanently. I have always said – you must think for yourself. While man-made medication has its place, if you’re going to treat something as chronic as major depression and clinical anxiety, it’s in your best interests to take the wheel of your life and seek out something natural. Most of these drugs have not been fully tested, and it is not uncommon for drug manufacturers to hide important data about adverse effects in the interest of profits.
Going back to my journey, a few supplements and herbs stood out. They are:
– Holy basil tea (It’s imported from India, but you can harvest it in most wooded areas around the city or in rural areas).
– Coconut oil
– Fatty fish such as nile perch, or high strength omega 3 capsules
– Dark, unadulterated cocoa (this is imported) or a good brand like Lindt’s
– Lemon balm (grows like a weed everywhere, but I buy mine from the US from time to time, and other times, I just walk outside my gate and start picking it)
– 5HTP (should be used with caution and not long-term)
– Rhodiola Rosea (amazing for stress; depending on your body chemistry, it might either calm you down or provide you with energy)
– Hibiscus
– Reishi mushroom in the form of a tea
– Fermented foods I make at home; these are rich in vitamin B cofactors that the brain needs to produce chemicals such as serotonin and GABA
– Foods such as eggs (I eat about 5 a day, and they have to be kienyeji), good protein such as chicken, lots of greens, sea salt, lentils (this is a good one for anxiety as it is packed full of magnesium), green grams, brown rice, lots of green bananas for their serotonin and B6 content, and very little processed foods as I noticed my mood would plummet a few hours after eating things like white rice, white flour and junk food.
– Saffron works in the same manner as Prozac, also known as Fluoxetine which is a common antidepressant without the side effects. That said, both Saffron and Prozac may be ototoxic; that is to say, they may be poisonous to the inner ear. They should also never be taken by someone who suspects they have bipolar disorder since they will make you manic and even suicidal.
I think a lot of people have misconceptions about what mental illness really is: there a lot of high-functioning people who hold important roles in society and business who are mentally ill but don’t show ‘crazy’ signs like stripping in public or running the streets. Mental illness also has a sliding scale, from depression, all the way to schizophrenia and psychosis. It is also possible to go your entire life unmedicated. This, however, isn’t a good idea since you will have disruptive relationships and increase your risk of heart disease and stroke later in life.
It is an illness just like diabetes or asthma. In fact, it may give you an edge by making you extremely creative, or really good at math or analytical thinking. However, the challenge lies in containing all this wild energy, finding natural medication that works for you, and living your best life with courage and integrity.
Thanks for giving me the details Mussa.
That’s quite a story. Sorry for what you went through (and your cousin too).
I am part of a WhatsApp mental health support group. I’ll share with them the tips about the supplements that work. In case you want to join you can always email me your number I add you.
I agree that mental health is a condition like any other. My late wife went through so much but was still able to achieve a lot. Many people would be shocked to learn that she had a mental illness. But we would just tell them that, just like diabetes and asthma, if you manage it well you live pretty much a normal life.
Let’s keep fighting stigma (including self-stigma) and raising successful persons with mental health conditions.
Hi Walter,
Sincerely I did not know this. I have been following you for sometime now I dont know how this one passed me.
I thank God for blessing you and helping you come out strong.
I do not have the experience about such trauma, I only can say you are a great guy under whatever circumstances. I have always prayed for you.
Hi Martin,
Thank you very much.
Those prayers really go a long way.
Let’s keep praying for one another. Some really bad things happen in life but we cling on God to take us through.
I don’t know how i never read this Piece. Walter, It feels like i had known your family just by reading. In this sad narration I see sadness and grief. In the same story i see REAL LOVE in a family So-meant-to-be.
In you I see a Caring Father A mentor…just everything Noble and Worth Praising. From a very Personal level, I Send my condolence, though late but… Death takes the best out of this world. And leaves alone with those who have business to do. She finished her race victorious. she is a hero.
Janet rests and dines with the angels in heavenly bliss. Watching down on your family smiling. Keep on Keeping on, Continue inspiring and mentoring.
You Inspire many and am one. You are more than a role model. Keep on Keeping on and may God be your Strength, light and guide.
Hi Dominic. Thanks a lot for your response and encouragement. I am totally humbled.
Walter this is such a touching story .It is so hard to believe it is true.I believe that the Most High who has given you strength all this while will take you to better places .God bless and thanks for your inspiration.
Hi Constance. Thanks a lot for your message. Yes, the Lord has really been kind to us. It was one of the most painful things ever but he saw us through step by step. Thanks and stay blessed.
Pole sana for the loss. May our Almighty God be your strength.
Thanks a lot Monica
Pole sana Walter, I believe her work here on earth was done and we bless God for the time you had with her…God continue blessing you and your family
Thanks Mercy. Highly appreciated. God bless you too.
Hosea 13:14
“I will deliver this people from the power of the grave; I will redeem them from death. Where, O death, are your plagues? Where, O grave, is your destruction? “I will have no compassion,
Thanks James.
Hi Walter,
I cannot find words…I pray that our God in heaven who understands your pain than we can, see you through each moment and overwhelm you with peace that surpasses all understanding. He is all knowing and knew this moment will come and that He will be right at His throne as always giving you just enough light for the step you are on. It is well…
Thanks a lot Kristine. The Lord has been good to me and really taken care of me. I wrote this to encourage others that God can lift you up from the worst of pains.
may the good lord walk before you to make all crooked paths straight….may the grace of our lord be with you nd your children .nd may he expound your territories to be supplication nd blessings to your family… shalom
Thanks a lot James.
This is the saddest story I have ever read. May she rest in peace, and Walter may the God we serve continue to bless and comfort you.
Thanks a lot Chet for your kind words. God bless you too.
My condolences on your loss my friend, May you continue to find strength during this time.
She is singing with the angels and smiling down on you.
Thanks a lot Sonia. I really appreciate.
My condolences. It shall be well. In the end money, influence, prestige don’t matter only the people who loved us genuinely for who we are through good and bad times and the beautiful memories we shared with them in this journey called life.
Thanks Kevin. Highly appreciated.
This is so sad. It brings tears to my eyes. I am so sorry for your loss Walter, May God be with you, your kids and everybody who loved her, Above all, may the lord end your pain. Thanks.
Thanks for this Shiro. Things are much better now. God bless you.
Oh, no. I just learned of this shocking news after logging in. So so sorry for your loss, Walter. May God give you strength and comfort.
No problem. Thanks a lot Elodie.
Depression is real, it is such a bad condition even if many people are not aware of it. It is exactly two months since my brother, Gabriel Baraka Masila lost his life to chronic depression and insomnia. At only 23, the tsunami of depression took away all his hope,all his art and passion for singing. Janet was also a very special person. Her advice and fight against depression still reigns. Thank you Walter for being strong for your family and the Kenya Freelancing community. Be blessed and may God give you more and more wisdom.
For the online workers, let us help with wisdom to fight against mental illness. They say knowledge is power. Let us be of positive impact to the society through knowledge.
Many thanks indeed Hannah.
Depression is one of the most difficult conditions to live with. Especially when it’s severe.
I am so sorry to learn what happened to your brother, Gabriel. That is so sad.
Yes, Janet was special and her fight against depression and mental health conditions will always live on.
God bless you all abundantly.
Hi Akolo, thank you for such a beatiful tribute to your wife. Hold on to faith that one day you will meet her in heaven. I lost my wife due to a short illness in Dec 2014 and i understand when you say one just floats and struggles to process that reality. Life lacks meaning and to live seems pointless after watching a loved one go through such a struggle and death sort of ‘wins’ Was it not faith in our savior Jesus Christ and promise of life after death life would seem a pointless adventure. So Akolo, keep the faith and inspire your beatiful kids and make Ciru’s brief life in this world worth it .
Thanks a lot Nat for your kind words. I am so sorry for the loss of your wife in Dec, 2014. That must have been so hard for you too. True, let’s keep the faith in God, inspire our kids and raise them well.
Pole sana for the loss of your wife Walter. Its not easy but I am glad that GOD has given you strength to overcome and enjoy life. Thanks for reminding us that we should take good care of each other and strive to do good always. May God bless you!
Thank you Joseph. God bless you too.
So sad, but there are things that are just beyond us. We can only leave them to the Lord God Almighty.
Very true. Thanks Dennis.
For sure, there’s life after life.
Thanks a lot Victor.
Walter you are a very strong gentleman. I pray to God that you ‘n your Family are always blessed. I know your beautiful angel is proud of you wherever she is.
Thanks a lot for your kind words
“You never know the day or the hour”….thanks for sharing this story, I really needed it. May God’s joy and happiness keep finding you and your family.
Many thanks Hillary
Boss, you are inspiring… a beacon in the world. May God richly bless you and your family.
Thanks a lot Mahinda for your encouraging words. God bless you too abundantly.
It’s sad reading your story and how tragic events turned out to be. I have learnt that we should always thank God for giving us health and the gift of life. I’m sorry for the loss and congratulate you for your show of strength despite everything. Ubarikiwe sana
Thanks a lot Gary. I appreciate your compliment. Barikiwa sana pia.
Hi Walter..Thats quite touching…The Lord gives and he is the one who takes…May he continue giving you the strength….May her soul rest in eternal peace
Many thanks indeed Steve.
hi Walter,
that was a very moving piece….I’m very sorry for your loss.
Thanks a lot Rachel.
Pole sana Edward, I hope the children have understood what happened. God is in control and thank you for sharing your story, it will surely help someone. Pole once again, I would like to buy City’s music, please advise.
Thanks Beatrice. I believe you meant Walter and not Edward.
The kids have understood what happened and we are all much better now. Yes, I was hoping that by sharing it will help someone.
Ciru’s music is not out for sale yet. We’ll be working on it in future as branding, marketing e.t.c. require quite a budget. I hope you’re on my mailing list. If so I will let you know when all that is done and being sold.
Thanks.
It’s taken courage to write this blog Walter. It’s not easy but day by day God is giving you peace, joy and strength to continue soaring on.
Janet is gone, she’s finished part of her race.
It’s us who are still alive left with a lot keeping in mind that one day one time we’ll soon be gone.
I have a photo of Janet and I during the East African song leaders conference. I constantly look at it and can’t believe she went to be with the Lord…
Anyway, may God continue strengthening and encouraging you Walter and the children.
Thanks a lot Douglas. She did a great job at that conference. God is working everything out in his amazing ways. God bless you Douglas.
Walter, brother, we empathize with you. We celebrate dear Janet’s love, life and legacy. Janet still sings to us all and smiles upon us every day.
Thanks Rayola my brother. It’s worth celebrating. God is still on the throne. Stay blessed bro.
I feel you sir. We who are married can get the depth of what she meant to you; especially when kids arrive. Thank you for sharing
Thanks a lot Dennis.
Walter,
Remember, God gives and God takes away,
He is the God of the Mountain is still God inthe Valley, When things go wrong he makes them Right, The God of the Good times is still God in the Bad times, The God of the Day is still God in the Night…Nothing can change Him. There is a BIG BRIGHT FUTURE lying ahead of you,
Expect Rivers flowing Right Now in your Desert..
Your are Highly Favoured, and Deeply Loved!
Wow. Thanks Rose. God is working it out in his own amazing ways.
Thanks for sharing the story. You story about Shiro’s condition gave me a lot of insight as I have a father who suffers from the same condition since I was young.
Through reading your stories and others I have come to appreciate what a remarkable individual he has been.
On the issue of the passing away of Shiro, I cannot tell you it will get better, she was a part of you life and always will be, You will just learn to handle the pain.
I lost my 16 years daughter last year and six months on everyday is like the previous.The pains never goes away. However you learn to really appreciate the people close to you.
Just be strong for your daughter. You will slowly learn to cope with the situation.
Thanks a lot Peter. Sorry about the loss of your precious daughter and your father’s illness. It shall be well. God bless you.
Walter be strong and trust in His mercies, yote anayajua and He will be there for you and the kids to give you peace and comfort you. Its well in Jesus name.
Many thanks Grace. I’m much better now. God is in control.
It is one of the most poignant stories I have ever read. Continue writing about her Akolo because your writing is therapeutic. It helps you heal from the trauma
Many thanks James. God bless you.
Take heart sir. Death is hard but moving on is always harder. Keep praying to God and all will be well.
Thanks Beth. We are all much better now.
and the pain goes away with time and all you are left with is laughter when you remember all the funny things, the silly things, the good things. the best thing is that you created something worth remembering. may the peace of God and His love be your portion and that of your babies now and fore evermore
Thanks a lot Neema. Very encouraging.
Hi Walter it just broke my heart reading your story. i cannot even comprehend the pain. Death is so cruel .I am lost for words.I will say a prayer for you and your family for strength for tomorrow and always , hope that cannot be stolen even by life’s worst moments and joy. One of the best piece if advice i got when i was grieving is that time is not a healer but a revealer of how God does the healing.God bless you
Thanks a lot Njeri. Your encouragement is awesome and the prayer will go a long way. God is already helping in amazing ways. God bless you too.
I understand what you went through bro. Don’t worry bro God knows why he took her life.
Thanks Aggrey
Thanks Walter for sharing your loss & pain with us. Janet was an angel and her song “More than my Illness” is just beautiful like her. May you have peace during this season of your life, I’m far away but in my mind I’m Hugging you and the kids.
Thank you very much Joy for your kindest of words. I’m happy to learn that you listened to her awesome song. Thanks for the hugs and all the best in that far-away land. God bless you immensely.
The love of God neutralizes all our sorrows and all burdens that weigh so heavily on us. May God bless you and cover you with a mighty cloud of grace.
Thanks a lot Fred. God bless you too.
So sad and inspiring at the same time. I love the title: “Life after life”, it is a reflection of the faithfulness of God through all. May He continue to favor and sustain you and your family. You shall live to proclaim the goodness of the Lord.
You are a blessing to us.
Many thanks indeed John. You all are a big blessing to me too.
This post is really encouraging, Thanks Walter!
A recap of how I got to know about Janet’s story, it was featured in Mid Morning Show on KTN hosted by Kui and i got really inspired. I had a dad battling depression but I was so young to understand the mental world therefore couldn’t say to what degree it was. I could only remember he was constantly on medication, there is this one time I accompanied him to see a psychiatrist but was left in the reception area. But when he stopped taking the medication, he wasn’t well. This is not what killed him, and his memory lives on ten years from now in our(my family and I) hearts.
My mum on the other hand, started displaying signs and symptoms of bipolar disorder right after my dad’s death. I couldn’t understand still, my thoughts were we were such a perfect family then everything crumbled. By then I was a teenager in high school and you know these times adolescence is on high peak. I never used to give my mum the respect that she deserved. I thought she was an embarrassment. I would a lot try not to associate with her.I termed her as crazy. I used to think a demon has possessed her.And on top of it all every night would cry to God to return her.
Fast forward, ever since your episode on mid morning show, I started having a passion for mental health, though haven’t taken practical steps about it in terms of engagement, I started to respond to my mum differently, handle her as humane and go with the flow with all the scenes she would display. I started having an interest in mental health related articles. I could now engage the doctor on her diagnosis, treatment, offer emotional support, understanding,cultivated patience, and give encouragement. I came to understand that she never received closure of her husband’s death and it is for this she became in denial.
In 4 months we will unveil the cross on my dad’s grave.Before upon bringing this subject she would refuse anything to be done on my dad’s grave. This topic was reintroduced again and she accepted. I hope after these 10 years she will have closure. I have never lost hope for her, I believe healing has began for her and us all..
Thank you Walter. May God Bless you abundantly Thank you for your contributions in showing mental health matters. .
Many many thanks indeed Wanjiku. I really appreciate your kind words.
I am glad to know that the mid-morning story moved you. In fact here are the links to the mid-morning features should you want to share with your friends:
KTN Midmorning Janet Akolo’s Story Part 1: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mf2fpy60xY0
KTN Midmorning Janet Akolo’s Part 2: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=weSzvuLdZvQ
I am so so sorry for the loss of your dad. I know how it feels, having lost my dad too many years ago.
It’s good that you handle your mom humanely nowadays. I am overjoyed to read about unveiling the cross on your dad’s grave together with your mom.
Share this post widely and encourage others that they can make it despite any challenge in their lives.
I am still very vocal in mental health circles – even one year after Janet’s death. If you want, you can text me on 0720754933 so that I add you to our mental health support group.
God bless you too Wanjiku. By sharing this, you’ve blessed me too.
Thanks once again Walter, would be delighted to join. Blessings!
Most welcome Wanjiku. You can mail or text me your number I add you to the group.
That was so touching, I feel deeply sorry for what you went through Walter. All is gonna be well through God’s guidance. May He lead you through His paths. I’m sure Janet is somewhere happier.
Thanks a lot Dan
Wow……May God continue to pour His unending grace, love, and protection Walter…God will fill that gap and stay blessed and bold. For sure we are but foreigners in this world, our exit only Him knows.
Thanks a lot Duncan. I appreciate your encouragement.
My dear, I am truly very sorry for the loss of such a phenomenol member of your family and I pray that God’s loving grace keeps you strong. Even I lost my precious dad to the dreaded cancer last year in April and it was devastating for me and my siblings. We are still struggling and trying to cope with the aftermath but what I know and truly believe is that God is with us and He is our strength. We’ll get through this. The souls of our loved ones are in a blissful place right and soon we shall see them again. Have a good day and may God’s grace keep you and your family stronger everyday.
Thank you Juliet. You’re so kind. Sorry for the loss of your precious dad. I can tell you really loved him. I lost my dad also a few years ago and it was not easy also. Let’s keep trusting Jesus. He’ll give us all we need. God bless you and good day to you too.
Hi Walter!
Thanks for such a moving tribute to your late wife,a person I knew very well and miss deeply.
I am so moved,couldn’t help shedding tears, as memories so fresh keeps on lingering.
May our God continue giving you and your family, the strength to keep on.
Gitau Nganga
Hi Gitau. Thanks for your kind response. You’ve always been so kind and supportive to us. God bless you and your family abundantly.
I hope that our Lord brings you and your family the much-needed peace during this sad time. May her soul R.I.P
Thank you very much for your kindness
very hard to swallow the pain. you very tough and strong be blessed Walter be blessed. you more than conqueror in Jesus name
Amen. Thanks Moses.
Sorry for the loss Walter. Everything happens with a reason. I like the way you have been brave all through. You have taught me to be a brave man.
Thanks Samuel. I praise God for the strength.
Hi Walter, I didn’t know about this I am reading it today, I am really sorry and I know God has been your strength and loves you so so much together with your children. some things happen and we ask ourselves why? but I believe someday we will have an answer why it happened that way. May God continue to bless and strengthen you and your children as He gives you joy and peace which surpurses all human understanding.
Cheers and God bless, be strong
Hi Constance. Thanks a lot. You’re far too kind. God bless you.
To God be the Glory, I thank God you are still strong. Honestly, loosing a loved one brings sorrows that can be overcome easily by the strong. The weak view it as a torture. Soldier on Walter. You will be fine. How are the young members of your family?
Thanks a lot Sang. You’re very encouraging. The young ones are doing very well now.
All glory and honor to God who has given you strength and comfort that in your testimony you may strengthen and comfort others.
Thanks Roxy. All praise to our awesome God.
God has given you strength Walter. Enough for you and your little angels. Keep fighting. I can pick your heart from your story and you are strong. God bless you to never lack in love, peace and joy.
Thanks Kush. You’re very kind. God bless you too.
You may have lost a loved one but take heart in the fact that you definitely gained an angel that will forever watch over you, Her work on earth was complete.
Thanks Joyce. Very encouraging.
God is and still is in control. RIP Janet..I’m sure your singing with the angels. . I’m my prayers
Thanks Esther. I appreciate your prayers and encouragement.
Life after Life ….pretty much sums it up…a celebration of a life well lived……a love that transcends the temporal prison of death. You did well Walter, You did everything, She ran the race, she finished the race on a high. Keep it up bro. Now show that love to your family, your kids. She is smiling wherever she is and so proud of you. God bless you
Wow. Thank you very much Noah. God bless you too.
Walter, this story saddens me to bits. I cried when I heard your wife had passed on yet I didn’t know her. Your family is in my heart, thoughts and prayers. May God continue strengthening you. It shall be well.
Thanks a lot Job for the deep concern and prayers. I am so grateful. Yes it will be well. God bless you too.
Opening my mail and reading this article in my late night working. so touching and am in deep tears. God bless you and your family each day. She is with the angels right now.
Thank you very much Joy. God bless you too abundantly.
An incredible story of life after life….you’re very strong and brave. It’s a story that needs to be retold on books or television captured with moments.
Ever since I subscribed to your blog its been very personable and humanely. You’re a rare breed on this society of ours. My condolences and happy memories for you and your beloved kids.
May God grant you more peace, grace and wisdom to soldier on with life. I can’t imagine losing a spouse. Personally, I am an orphan and I lost my mum, the only true friend and rock. i can imagine the pain.
I’m with you in prayers.
God bless!
Thanks Kevin. The pain was terrible but God has sustained us. I am glad you love my blog. God bless you too Kevin.
My thoughts and sympathy are with you Walter. Take heart and be strong in Jesus Christ, our source of strength and console.
Thanks a lot John
The Lord always comforts and strengthens His loved ones. God bless more you Walter for you have been a blessing to many.
Thanks a lot Ervin. God bless you too.
Heartrending. Heartrending!
A story of astounding courage fortitude and unflagging faith. Be. blessed Walter.
Thanks a lot John. Stay blessed too!
It is well brother. So much you have passed thru but here you are now. We bless the lord for you Walter.
Thanks Charles. We are strengthened through the tough times we go through. God never leaves those he loves. God bless you too bro.
Strength that overcomes but loves deeply .
Thanks Sammy
Wow Walter it’s always encouraging to know that actually you do feel Gods care and love upon your life even after all that happened. Please cling onto him. He will always be your comforter. God bless
Thank you so very much Nellie. I have no option but to keep clinging on him who grants us strength. God bless you too.
Isaiah 3:10- it is well with you through Christ
Amen. Thanks a lot Ray.
I am so sorry Walter and I pray to God that He gives her eternal happiness.
Thank you very much Dickson.
Walter. I believe you are a christian, and she was as well. I would like you to pick comfort from the word of God, which tells us that we of the faith don’t mourn as those without hope. This is because she went to a better place, an she’s waiting for you. soon you will be reunited with her in glory. Be strong brother.
Thanks a lot Mannu. God bless you.
Walter…I was speechless after reading this. First a friend send it to my whatsapp and midway I kept thinking this was just a story…I am so deeply sorry for your loss, the pain cannot be imagined, the void she must have left…receive my belated condolences Walter. And yet you have been so strong in the midst of such pain! I admire your strength and resilience. May God keep blessing you Walter, may he give you more strength, wisdom and love even as you raise your kids. Be blessed..
Thank you so much Bahati. I really appreciate your kind words. I thank God for that strength since without him I totally couldn’t do anything. I also thank close friends and family. God bless you too abundantly.
You are very strong Walter. It’s one of those incidents no one would wish but it happened to play. May God grant you and the children strength. My condolences.
Hi Walter mine is to keep on praying for you because I really can’t understand what you are going through am married with three daughters I just can’t imagine living without my wife ,May God grant you grace and wisdom
Thanks Patrick. Good to learn about your family. Yeah, losing a spouse is very painful. I pray for long life and wouldn’t wish this on anyone. However we are all passers by and we do not know the day or the hour. Cherish every moment you have. God bless you too abundantly.
Thank you so much Esther. Indeed it was a difficult moment. We’re all much better now. God bless you too.
You have been a mentor to many, as for me, you have always done your best to help me through this online hustle. One quote I will never forget from you was that “a candle never looses light when it lights another’, keep on with the good work, and may the good lord bless you with those young little angels.
Thank you very much Zach. It’s true we’ve come from far. I love that quote. Thanks again and God bless you too incredibly.
Walter,
I am praying for strength and courage to continue Janet’s legacy. I know it isn’t going to be easy. But God will provide the strength you need
it is well with your soul.I feel your pain went through such an ordeal n its something you would never ever wish any human being to experience.Lean on Christ it shall be well.. You are a strong man I salute you.may she rest in eternal peace
Thanks a lot. I thank our good Lord who gives me strength. May God bless you abundantly.
Walter, may our God cover you in His own presence, comfort you in His own words and walk you in His own paths.
I can’t even find the right words to tell you, but in God’s own hands I surrender you and the children. Pole sana
Thanks a lot Lillian. Highly appreciated.
Walter, I’m so saddened, though I couldn’t reach to personally mourn with you . . . I’m sure that all is well where she is and surely she is looking out to you and your kids.
May our Good Lord be your guide and saving grace during this time and forever more.
Be blessed, you, the work of your hands and kids, family.
Hi Gertrude. Thank you so much. God bless you too amazingly.
Ooh, a touching story. Take heart brother. I know it is not easy to forget but you’re a strong man. All will be well in Jesus name. That’s my prayer.
Thanks Veronicah and a big AMEN to that.
Hi Walter,
What can I say? It is well, Walter. God has you, bro. (((((((((hugs))))))))
Thank you very much Millicent. God has been more than amazing.
sorry for that loss and know that God will be always there to provide joy to you and your family.
Thanks Simon. Very well said. God is awesome.
Pole sana school mate..God will always guide you.. She is resting in a good place watching over you and the kids..
Thanks a lot Nicholas.
Your testimony is touching and will help others go through the pain you have gone through. May God raise you up to soar to great heights.
Thanks a lot Roxy. It is my hope that many will read and know that God can deliver them through the most painful of experiences.
I am so touched by your story Walter. May God continue showering you and your family with the grace to continue living a wholesome life. Take heart.
Thanks a lot Liv. I believe our awesome God will never leave us. God bless you.
Pole Walter for the loss of your lovely and beautiful wife. We thank God for the time you shared together. May the Almighty God continue to comfort you and your family and may He give you strength and healing.
Thanks a lot Florence. Amen to your blessings. May God bless you too abundantly.
Oh My! What a sad story. So sad. Pole sana Walter. I am reading it here for the first time. Death is so final and numbing. May God continue comforting you. He is still God. May Psalms 23 encourage you. And may your Ciru R.I.P
Hi Faith. This was so sad but we are much better now. That’s an incredible Psalm. Thanks a lot and stay blessed.
My brother, our God will surely take care of us. Even when the pain is so much words cant describe it, Our God has not forsaken us. Ukweli ni ngumu being mum and dad, but with God we will make it or die trying. You are always in my prayers.
Hey Mucuthi. Good to see you here, especially remembering that you went through a similar ordeal. You are in my prayers too bro. God will see us through.
may the lord God bless her soul in eternity, and as we celebrate a life well lived let’s endeavor to do & achieve what she wanted most for us all.You are strong Walter, may God guide you through this loss and, give all the energies and wisdom you need!
Thanks a lot for your kind words. God bless you abundantly.
Walter,being with Janet on Her battlefield to the last day…I salute you,I lack words to describe you. My hubby keeps telling me you are an awesome man and I think awesome is an understement. There is surely life after life,your babies look up to you,you are doing such a amazing job raising them up,am sure Janet is so so proud of you. Keep going,all is well. We love you.
Wooow Betty. Thanks for your kind message of encouragement. Although it was not easy, I kept doing my very best as a hubby. She was also awesome and she supported me too through many difficult situations. We are much better now and so close as a family. I keep raising my kids to always love God and obey what he says. Thanks and we love you guys too. A big hello to your family.
Really tough.
Words might be insufficient to calm things down.
May Gods strength and comfort keep walking with you and the young ones. She sure would want to see you keep her wisdom, verve and love going. That keeps her smiling. May God take you and the young ones to heights not reached before
Hi Edwin. Thanks a lot for your encouragement. God has really seen us through this impossible situation. In him we’ve found peace and joy, after a long and hard journey. Thanks and stay blessed.
Walter!
It shall be well with you and your family.Its my prayer that God will continue to give you strength to face life even after her demice.I believe she fought a good fight and now she is looking from the heavens amongst the saints .May your family be blessed always and may the love of God bind you togather in Jesus mighty Name.
Thanks Michael. It’s been a tough year but God has seen us through. I believe greater things are coming. Thanks a lot for your encouragements and stay blessed.
Surely deeply touched by the narrative for the first time,since last year i was not a menber once again pole sana.
Thanks Solomon. I appreciate your kindest of words.
This story is soo touching and whenever I read it I find tears dripping down my Cheeks, just I can tell you that God as a reason for everything that happens in this world.Take
heart and accept that it has happened and pray God to take you through the tusk ahead of you. Let this challenge be a driving force to your destiny.
Thanks Victor. Very well said. We are now much better and thank God for seeing us through. True, we should learn from each challenge and use it to help us do better things for his glory.
Oh noo! this is that pain that is indescribable.
I feel it with you. Despite all this, remember that God is still in power and he will wipe away those tears and take care of your heart. It is not easy, but take heart and be strong for the kids. God knows why and before long, He will reveal it to you.
May her soul rest in peace.
Thanks Pheobe. Absolutely no words can describe it. God has been there for us and we’re much better now. Thanks a lot and stay blessed abundantly.
Gone too soon. May her soul continue to rest in peace. My condolences to you Walter. May God continue to be with you and the children.
Thanks a lot Anne. I am actually grateful for the Lord has really been with us through it all. We are now much better. All praise and honor to the Most High.
Oh my its a moving story. It is well, it is well. May God let His face shine upon you forever, Keep loving Him because He is the one that gives us strength to carry on. God bless
Thanks a lot Eunice. God has been with us all through and has renewed our strengths. We are now much better, more grateful and still faithful to him.
When Janet reached there, she was crying when she looked at the beauty of the place compared to the struggles in the earth. She actually pitied you and the kids. As you were weeping that she is gone, she was wailing that you have remained.
“WHEN WE DIE WE DON’T LEAVE HOME, WE GO HOME”
Thanks Mathews. Indeed it is life after life.
She is very beautiful! And celebrate the time she was with you in this earth. God has and will always give you strength.HIS grace is sufficient!
R.I.P
Indeed she is. Thanks a lot Catherine. I cherish every moment and yes, God’s grace has been sufficient. All praise and honor to your mighty God.
I don’t have any words to describe the strength in you Walter! I wish you more strength to be always there for your children and to find peace always, May Ciru rest in eternal peace.
Thank you so much Faith. I really appreciate.
It is well Walter. May her soul continue to rest in peace
Thanks Ruth. Highly appreciated.
All is well with thy soul.
Thanks Sowe
Take heart bro, Our heavenly father is in Control of every situation have faith in Him she is at peace. Amen!
Thanks a lot Godfrey. I agree God is in control. May he continue to bless us all.
Tears, tears!!! Cannot imagine your pain. But God does. His strength is yours. True, Walter, we are passersby and a time comes when our choices determine where we go. Choose life
Thank you very much Njeri.
Take heart. You have been through the fire and you will only come out stronger. Your positive outlook despite the pain you still endure is a testament of the strong support system your children have in you.
Thanks a lot Maurine. We are usually shaped through the fire. By and by things do get better. Thanks for your concern for us. God bless you abundantly.
Great tribute a little sweet girl who grew up to be so incredibly awesome. You are in our thoughts and prayers.
Thanks Wanjiru. I love the way you’ve said it, “Little sweet girl who grew up to be so incredibly awesome.” Thanks a lot for your prayers.
God is in control. May she rest in peace.
Thanks a lot Osano.
Walter, you are a strong man, very few like you exist. You have my uttermost respect and in me you have a prayer partner. God bless you
Wow! Thanks Joyce. If there is anyone who believes in the power of prayers, it’s me. Thanks for your encouragement. And even more for your prayers!
The pain and depression that comes after the death of a loved is incomparable. When I lost my dad back in 2014, the countless ‘sorry for your loss’, didn’t make me feel better. It wasn’t until I understood the concept of life and death. No matter who you are, what you do or what you have done, death will take us all. It does no favor and that is the path for all humanity. Everything is temporary and nothing lasts forever in this earth. I am glad that you try to find joy everyday with your family and Janet is proud looking upon you from above.
Hi Mooray. It is indeed incomparable. I am so sorry about your dad. I lost my dad too back in 2000 and it was hard! It is so sad to lose a loved one. Eventually, when the pain subsides, we get an incredible urge to enjoy and savor every moment in life. It is indeed a gift that will be washed away soon. Blessings kibao Mooray!
Very sorry Walter for your loss and the hard times you’ve gone through after that. It’s encouraging though, to learn that you are holding up well with your family. May the good Lord be with you and bless you always in all that you do
Thanks a lot Irene. I have to do my best for my family. They’re all I got. Plus the friends God keeps adding to us. God bless you Irene.
It is well Walter. She is beautiful!
Thanks Virginia. Much appreciated.
I feel your pain brother, may you always have strength to be the best dad, may her memories give you peace know this, you were lucky to have her and she was fortunate to have you…..the love you both shared will give you strength to do more and be more
Hi Francis. It was indeed very painful. Thanks for your encouragement.
Walter I wasn’t in the online community last year, but after reading this blog post, I now know how strong a man you are. May God keep renewing your strength everyday and may you always find comfort and peace in Him. I am sure Janet is in a better place and she is so proud of you for what you’re doing. Keep your head up my brother and I wish you the best now and always.
Hi Wanja. Welcome to the online community. I really appreciate your message of encouragement. God bless you abundantly.
God is faithful Walter.
Amen Grace.
I greatly admire your positivity in all this, even in pain. I couldn’t help but feel your pain as I read this post, Walter. Continue making the best out of your situation. And may God continue to literally hold your hand as you go deal with this.
Thank you very much Milli. I credit all that strength to God. Without him I wouldn’t have gotten this far.
Message, ‘That personal relationship with our creator is the only source of hope after life.’
Celebrating Janet, one year on.
Thank you very much my friend. God bless you.
May she rest in peace….
Thanks Maurice.
This is so touching, I feel for you brother. Keep praying to our Lord God for strength and kindness, He always encourages us at all times.
Thanks Edgar. We serve a mighty God. He’s the one who has seen me through to this day.
Walter,
Every time i read about your late wife’s story i get shivers down my spine.
Poleni sana, i continue praying for strength, comfort that no man can provide but only our father in Heaven
for you and your family.
Janet watches and smiles down upon you wherever she is in heaven
its well my friend, she is in a better place.
God be with you.
Regards,
your friend,
Florence
Thank you very much Florence. I really appreciate your kind words. God be with you also.
may she continue resting with the angels. pole sana Walter. you are very strong.
Thanks Terry. I believe there is no strength in such times – you just feel like you’re floating in the air, and God walks you step by step till some point when you snap back to reality and have to live your life. Thanks for your kind words.